Gray Eubanks, we miss you terribly!

Sorry, April. We tried to give you a chance to get better. We tried to give you time to get over your inexperience while you stumble your way through our morning news on Oregon Public Broadcasting. We knew Gray was an impossibly hard act to follow, so we tried to cut you some slack. But after two years of listening to you constantly get it wrong, two years of being relieved when you go on vacation and we get a guest host, two years of completely incomprehensible traffic and wearther reports, the honeymoon is over. We want Gray back.

This morning I tuned in to listen to the beginning of the BBC's live broadcast of World Have your Say from our beloved Bagdad Theater. I was mortified to hear you completely blow the introduction as it was broadcast to the world. No, the Bagdad is not "gothic" (I'd call it Art Deco, if anything) and any Portland resident worth her salt would know that it's not owned by the manager Sue, but rather one of the McMenamin brothers' local chain of brew pubs. I turned the radio off at that point. I couldn't take any more.

Gray, please come back to us! We of the Portland Morning Addiction audience miss you terribly! We miss your humor. We miss your ability to get the facts straight. Most of all, we miss your delightfully snarky comments. Please! We're begging you!