Wednesday, June 15

THIS is love!

I was thinking about the concept of "love" last night and the contrast between what some people (and I use that term loosely) think of as "love" and what I and so many of my peers believe.

Four of my favorite people in the whole world are getting married this summer within a few weeks of each other on two different coasts. The two weddings are about as different as could be - one a (mostly) traditional formal wedding in a cathedral with a bride in a poofy white dress and really cool shoes, one an informal interfaith wedding outdoors in a park with two brides. One will assuredly be swank while the other will be delightfully quirky and artistic (and swank in its own oblique way). The long-anticipated invitations came in the mail within a few days of each other. One is the traditional white and silver with double envelopes, while the other is typically artistic with a strip of fabric sewn onto it (with an RSVP on a Tux postcard).

In short, the two weddings couldn't be much more different except for one extremely important thing: the obvious love these two couples have for their future spouses and the unconditional love of their friends and families around them. Not some narrow judgmental puritan power play but simple healthy intelligent respect, affection, and happiness.

So as I was thinking about this last night, the contrast between the joy of these two impending weddings and the invective currently echoing from the Oregon state capitol around a proposed civil union law and the story from yesterday in Memphis. It makes me wonder how anyone can object to something as personal and private as who one loves and chooses to spend their lives with? Why is it that my wife and I get all these benefits simply because there is only one member of the household with a Y chromosome? Why does race or gender or religion ever have to enter the discussion at all? What gives anyone the right to tell anyone else who they can or cannot love?


  1. Yup.

    My husband and I know gay couples who have been together much longer than we have. Yet somehow, our relationship is seen as legitimate and legal, while theirs is not. Bogus.

  2. I'm glad you like the invites. Every invite had a different post card. I thought you'd get a kick outta Peace, Love & Penguins. And that strip sewn to the card, it's an amazing handmade japanese paper we loved, but couldn't afford in large quantaties. We cut it into ribbon-sized strips by hand ourselves.

    Happily planning an Massachusetts same-sex wedding!

  3. Aha! Paper! It's beautiful. I can only imagine how many hours of work must have went into the invitations!

  4. Two quality evenings at home w/ my girl watching movies. I set the sewing machine up on a TV tray in front of the futon and stitch away!

  5. The weddings are different. The weddings are the same.

    Love, people. It's about love. Practice it. Cherish it.