To: All Employees
<Manager name here> has submitted his resignation as <upper management position in the <agency>, effective June 30.
While I am personally sad to see him go, and I know I am not alone, <Manager> is excited about starting a private sector position with <X> Consulting. I want to take this opportunity to thank <Manager> for his efforts to shepherd critically important enterprise initiatives within <agency> over the last two years. His leadership and commitment to the organization has been the key to their success.
As you know, we expect to hire a new <A Different Vacant Manager Position> in mid-May. <Manager> has been, and will continue to be, actively involved in that process and other <Agency> projects until his departure. Please join me in wishing all the best for <Manager> as he enters the next stage of his career. He will be missed. In this case, it is not an exaggeration to say that the public sector's loss will be the private sector's gain.
Apparently my fatalism is contagious, since this was A's response:
<Manager> is excited about starting a private sector position with <X> Consulting, where he will be issued a state contract to administer the entire information services division for the state. While <Manager>'s salary will increase 10-fold, he only hires high-school dropouts for minimum wage, on part-time employment arrangements so that they are eligible for food stamps and partial Medicaid in life-or-death emergency health care situations, allowing them to increase their standard of living. Once again, a shining example of how privatization and outsourcing is good for the community as a whole, saving taxpayer money that would have otherwise been diverted to actual payroll expenses for full-time professionals, who will now be receiving unemployment benefits at a substantially reduced cost compared to their payroll costs.
I damn near fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.
See kids? Fatalism is fun!
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It's funny because its true. Can you spare some change?
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